i’m not really very jewish really

Posted by krantz on October 09, 2008

My nose might say otherwise. I haven’t been to temple outside of Bar Mitzvah services for rarely seen cousins in the past ten years. My Hebrew school experience was dreadful. I would purposely hide under my bed so my father couldn’t find me beforehand or “accidentally” bring a science textbook instead of my Siddur so we would have to turn the car around. Sundays were two hours long and I would literally try to count down all 7200 seconds. It didn’t help that we were barely reform Jews and the powers that be elected to send me to an orthodox Hebrew school solely because it was the cheapest option. My “normal” Jewish chums got to go Tuesday and Thursday afternoons to a school where their Rabbi told jokes. I had to sacrifice my Saturday (and Sunday, during my last year) mornings to report to a Rabbi that never taught me anything of value about Judaism other than the right tone with which to sing the Shema.

But it’s Yom Kippur, the highest holiday, and I’m fasting anyway. I don’t really know why. Probably because I’ll get to eat a ton of Chinese food for dinner and not feel bad about it.

xoxo,

a letter masshole wrote 2

Posted by krantz on October 06, 2008

When they called me Sausage Wallet, they called him Masshole.  Thindick, Slugworth, Farva, Dirtbag, Ballsagna, Lunchmeat, Ballhair, Joey Bag of Donuts, Balki Bartokomous and Mr. Mushroom Cap made up the rest of Alpha Eta.  “Why am I Sausage Wallet,” I asked one day.  “Because you are!” was the answer.

Most of us still keep up via email.  Since that era ended, a few dozen email chains have gone on and on and on, all with Masshole on the receiving end, never a response.  Then, yesterday (names changed to protect identities):

Thindick:  Haha, I have no idea if the pissing is true (is it? and if so, sorry thinny), but everything else sounds right and Lorraine was notably cool towards me once she brought up her Democratic allegiance. Simon seemed really nice, more of a Taoist scholar than a brawler.  He wouldn’t say such things.

Dave:  I am also tempted to re-send the Chang obit. I wrote a few years ago, but you’re still alive and no one should read their obituary more than once. There’s no need for personal attacks, I’m just fucking with you.  The angst and thin-skined offense you’re showing is Mushroomcapesque in its virulence.  You’re a great player, no one but a fool or a knave or a Ballhair would state otherwise.  I thought one of the gravest injustices of our college years was when Nick Lewis and “Brother” Brian Neaman tattled on you on the eve of the semi-championship Beirut game at the Kells which led to an underage Wegetables being kicked out.

Balki and Mushroom Cap:   What of the great Bailout of ‘08?  On the one hand, I do think the bailout was necessary to get capital markets and liquidity flowing again.  On the other hand, I worried that the original Paulson plan would only buy back the toxic debt mortgages which would amount to flushing money down the toilet as there’s a good chance these banks are already bust as property values cut across the larger economy which would mean that all other assets held by banks have declined and are not greater than the overall debt held by these banks.  The new plan does more than this and in stages.  So, I guess I vote yea for the plan.  It sounds like a great idea to allow the market to crash to teach everyone a lesson until the market actually crashes and we’re facing crime epidemics all over American cities.  I would also say that social security privatization is dead for a very long time.  But perhaps so too is the concept of “affordable housing”.  Maybe its not a good idea to allow a very short term uptick in faux home ownership to wreck the general economy.  And it only took 7% of all mortgage defaults to do so.

Ballhair:  I haven’t spoken to you since like a few months before we graduated.  I hope all is well and I do not think you are a fool or a knave.  Also, I am in curious: I remember a convo we had years ago about the disabled and Of Mice and Men.  Do you still feel the same way on the subject as you did when we were college freshman?  (you need not respond to the whole group if you do not wish to.)

Hope all is well. 

nasty poker rap 4

Posted by krantz on October 03, 2008

King of Grind did this, it’s pretty nasty w/ some sweet DC shoutouts. Have a listen:


Live pros V. Internet Pros

phil hellmuth is good. NOT. 15

Posted by krantz on October 02, 2008

confirming what everyone else already knows:


Original Video - More videos at TinyPic

railheaven rigged against jews 3

Posted by krantz on September 30, 2008

Played a really long session tonight, first 3 handed with Ivey and Antonius, then 6handed when trex, JMan and lady marmelade joined, and finally HU vs durrrr for a bit.  First part of the session was super swingy (as usual)… I lost top two to flushes twice but in a stroke of luck misclick minraised AK preflop and managed to fold it preflop to heavy action correctly where if I had raised normally I would almost definitely have gotten stacked by AA…

Anyway, I was stuck like 240 at the high point and clawed my way back to even, then started steamrolling and it looked like I was finally going to book a big win, but alas, railheaven is especially rigged against the jews on Rosh Hashana:

Full Tilt Poker Game #8286340994: Table RailHeaven (6 max) - $500/$1000 - No Limit Hold’em - 4:15:31 ET - 2008/09/30
Seat 2: durrrr ($117,191)
Seat 4: pr1nnyraid ($454,697.50)
durrrr posts the small blind of $500
pr1nnyraid posts the big blind of $1,000
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pr1nnyraid [Qs Qh]
durrrr raises to $3,000
pr1nnyraid raises to $10,000
durrrr calls $7,000
*** FLOP *** [4d Ts 7d]
pr1nnyraid checks
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr bets $12,400
pr1nnyraid has 15 seconds left to act
pr1nnyraid has requested TIME
pr1nnyraid raises to $444,697.50, and is all in
durrrr calls $94,791, and is all in
pr1nnyraid shows [Qs Qh]
durrrr shows [9d Ad]
Uncalled bet of $337,506.50 returned to pr1nnyraid
*** TURN *** [4d Ts 7d] [6c]
*** RIVER *** [4d Ts 7d 6c] [Qd]
pr1nnyraid shows three of a kind, Queens
durrrr shows a flush, Ace high
durrrr wins the pot ($234,381.50) with a flush, Ace high
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $234,382 | Rake $0.50
Board: [4d Ts 7d 6c Qd]
Seat 2: durrrr (small blind) showed [9d Ad] and won ($234,381.50) with a flush, Ace high
Seat 4: pr1nnyraid (big blind) showed [Qs Qh] and lost with three of a kind, Queens
Full Tilt Poker Game #8286415698: Table RailHeaven (6 max) - $500/$1000 - No Limit Hold’em - 4:29:50 ET - 2008/09/30
Seat 2: durrrr ($263,778.25)
Seat 4: pr1nnyraid ($308,104.25)
pr1nnyraid posts the small blind of $500
durrrr posts the big blind of $1,000
The button is in seat #4
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to pr1nnyraid [5h Kh]
pr1nnyraid raises to $3,000
durrrr calls $2,000
*** FLOP *** [6s 2h Ah]
durrrr checks
pr1nnyraid bets $4,000
durrrr calls $4,000
*** TURN *** [6s 2h Ah] [Ts]
durrrr checks
pr1nnyraid has 15 seconds left to act
pr1nnyraid bets $11,000
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr raises to $35,400
pr1nnyraid has 15 seconds left to act
pr1nnyraid has requested TIME
pr1nnyraid calls $24,400
*** RIVER *** [6s 2h Ah Ts] [6h]
durrrr has 15 seconds left to act
durrrr bets $63,800
pr1nnyraid calls $63,800
*** SHOW DOWN ***
durrrr shows [Tc Th] a full house, Tens full of Sixes
pr1nnyraid mucks
durrrr wins the pot ($212,399.50) with a full house, Tens full of Sixes
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $212,400 | Rake $0.50
Board: [6s 2h Ah Ts 6h]
Seat 2: durrrr (big blind) showed [Tc Th] and won ($212,399.50) with a full house, Tens full of Sixes
Seat 4: pr1nnyraid (small blind) mucked [5h Kh] - a flush, Ace high

They never told me anything about this kinda stuff in Hebrew school.

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