I live on a television set these days. I have for the past 5 episodes of my life.
I think I actually mean 4 weeks of my life, but I’m not really sure. Right now I’m at home home, in my NYC apartment, on reprieve (but not really reprieve, the cameras are following me for a bit) from filming 2 Months, 2 Million, the reality TV show about my life.
It’s a surreal experience, to say the least. I think about that constantly, and it’s by far the most interesting part of my summer even though I can’t talk about it on TV (I’ve thought about hiring a film crew to follow us around during the taping of the show - a reality show within a reality show! - but that idea was summarily dismissed, along with Dani’s idea to put a midget in every scene and leave him there with no explanation. Wack.). I mean, a TV network decided to spend lots of dollars to put me and my friends in a very unusual mansion in Las Vegas for the summer to make a show about our lives. My head explodes daily. Hanging out in the living room at 2am and looking up to see a pair of PAs dragging a boom mic and some lights across the room. Bending down to tie my shoe in the backyard and seeing my roommate (mundanely searching for a Vitamin Water) walk past, immediately stalked by a set of cameramen and Eduardo, our sound guy. Asking the talent coordinator, Jillian, where Brian is (I need the car keys!) and hearing her ask 20 people for “eyes on Brian” on the portable mic. And of course zillions of other things that I can’t talk about (____ in __ of __ at ____, or when ___ played ____ _____ HU at ___ ___, or going on that ____ with _____ at ____ and ___ ____ with ______ across the living room).
The show is going to be fucking good. And funny. I think I can say that (as I type this I look over my shoulder, half expecting Comcast lawyers to break down my door and cart me away to spoiler prison). Hopefully it gets viewership - it will be awesome for poker. I’ve started keeping a journal of my experiences and hopefully can start putting out some of the stories as soon as the show starts airing. For now, here’s a little anecdote from the other night:
So I’m hanging out w/ Chelsea on the couch after filming shuts down, watching G4, hoping to see one of the two commercials they’re airing for the show again (at this point we’ve been watching for 3 hours and only seen it once) when Mark (the DP) and Sheena (one of the PAs) come by. They’re filming late night tonight, Brian is sleeping and Emil and Dani are out at LAX. It’s a Wednesday and he asks if anything crazy ever goes on late night at the house. I tell him that sometimes on the weekend shit can get kinda nuts but during the week it’s usually dead, we’re either playing online poker or watching TV/various extremely hilarious YouTube videos. And just as we finish the conversation and start talking about poker and opportunity and the Mobius Strip and various is-the-grass-greener scenarios, Emil strolls in with a dozen girls and two dudes, a bonafide entourage, and shit got kinda nuts. I can only imagine what went through these people’s heads - it was the end to their CRAZY night in Vegas, and then they ended up on the set of a reality TV show, and now our couch says PIMP on it (someone, somehow, found a set of alphabet stickers).
And then I thought to myself, whatever. It can’t nearly be as weird as standing in front of a green screen earlier that day and nodding to my co-stars as we smiled for the camera, ready for our close-ups.
My life. Only on G4. See you guys on August 16.
